Dear Heartbroken Mama…

Dear Heartbroken Mama,

I wanted to write you a letter to let you know I feel your pain. I too have lost a baby. I want you to know that it’s okay to be sad. You probably think you have to be so strong for your other children, for your husband and because you have convinced yourself that people are going through much harder times right now. This is your pain and no one else can carry it. You might be thinking, “did I do something wrong?” or “could I have done something different, or better, to have saved my babies life?” but the answer is no. It is not your fault. One out of four pregnancies end in miscarriage and there is a million reasons why miscarriages occur. I know that number doesn’t make you feel any better so I just want you to know I am here for you. If you want to just sit and cry together or perhaps just need a really big hug, I am here. I can tell you how I understand your pain and that I know how your heart broke into a million pieces when the doctor told you that baby no longer had a heartbeat. How your heart broke even more when you went into surgery to remove your lifeless baby. How you felt like a failure when you had to tell your loved ones that you were no longer pregnant. How your heart started to heal but then broke all over again when babies due date passed and you had no baby. How you were truly happy and excited for your friends when they announced their healthy pregnancies but deep down it reminded you of your loss and your hurt. How you feel selfish in your pain because you have a precious, perfect child at home and others don’t have any. How you pray every night that one day you can have another baby but fear it will all happen again. All this pain that creeps into your life late at night or constantly during the day- I know how it feels. Please don’t forget for one second that you are strong, you are beautiful and you will get through this. Cling onto your loved ones, especially your spouse during this hard time in your life. The pain will pass but the precious memory of your unborn baby won’t ever be forgotten. It does get easier, I can promise you that. If you feel like the pain is almost unbearable, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak- quite the opposite actually, it shows how strong you are.

Hang in there mama. This season of your life will soon be over and you will one day be holding your rainbow baby. And don’t forget, you are not alone.

xo,

Luisa